I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
