yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
