is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
