I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
