the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
