the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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