I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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