I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
