Say something about gay babies.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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