Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
