..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
