Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
