we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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