google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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