White coat. Heels.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
