I want to walk on stilts...naked
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So squirting runs in the family.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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