Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
