HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
