i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
