we're making bets on your personal life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
