youre lurking in front of me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
