Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
