1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
