If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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