Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
