I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I could make wine with my vomit
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
