Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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