But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
