ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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