when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
