At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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