with your own penis?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
