I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
