Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
