so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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