opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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