we're blogging at a bar
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
