was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
