i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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