Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
