I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
