Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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