then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
