Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
