My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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