How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
