Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
