hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
