2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we have officially lost it.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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