i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
